I'm Back....

Hi folks!

So I'm back from Bulgaria, it was *awesome* and well worth the 50p I spent in being there. Seriously, I spent less than £300 in a week, was pissed every night and ate out twice a day. If you haven't been, I recommend it highly!

Obviously I didn't play any poker whilst out there, although obviously I did do my nuts betting on which of us would be faster down various water slides. Tip: being a fat lad doesn't make you gravity proof, but doesn't make you as quick as you'd imagine, either. I also did my nuts on data roaming by forgetting to turn my mobile internet connection off, *sigh*.

Tip 2: Don't watch England get fucked by Germany in a bar full of Germans having spent the whole afternoon cursing them in their mother-tongue whilst drinking beer. Further, don't lose your lighter and then need a cigarette so bad after they make it 3-1 that you interrupt their celebrations to ask for a light. They took it rather well, I thought, but it was pretty embarrassing after I'd spent the whole day pointing out the lack of Germans in their team (Brasil, Poland, Tunisia and Turkey are just some of the countries they employ to do their football these days) and how we were gonna stuff them. Thanks, Fabio, you prick. Now fuck off and resign. What? You mean you value the £12m you'll get paid off if sacked more than you dignity? Of course you do, you arse, the Italians don't have a word for dignity. Or if they do, it's the same as 'snake faced cunt'.

Anyway, a week of sun, Germans, waterparks, beer (at 75p/pint) and women (considerably cheaper and more dangerous to your health!) later, I'm back to work, which is brilliant, because I love sitting in the office when it's nice outside... when there are Germans in the office taunting me at every opportunity, both over football and my conspicuous lack of a sun tan. Yes, I've been on holiday. No I don't have a tan. My personal melting point is a little over 25 deg, so meh :(

This week, I plan to plan at Circus on Weds to get back into the swing a bit, and then probably over at the G on Friday, too. I *may* squeeze in a little bit of Circus Thursdays, just for the craic too. Seems like I'm amenable to a little bit of gamble gamble this month too. Looking forward, I'm also gonna play the £200 G Club Championship, and I'm gonna sell half my action in that. If anyone is interested (straight 50:50 split after stakeback to backers) then leave a comment or PM me on the NPF.

Peace,

--mulhuzz

Sigh, Decent, But Sigh

So I wanted to recap my week.

It starts with doing ok in the Monday game at Circus, before going card dead, sigh. I finally 3bet ship 4 handed with A9o from the SB after Brennan's button open. Standard ship for my 10BBs, but he has AA, sigh. Thanks Brennan, happy birthday me. Still take £70 for fourth though. Can't really remember much about the tournament, before I go on to crush at cash for another £100 or so, through till the early hours with George and Lewis and playing DC. George gets there with 72 against my TT in the last hand of the night, so I decide I need sleep and go home as it's now 'officially' my birthday, and I want to go out on the lash the next night. 7am is more than good enough for me to go home!

The next night, I get fucking wankered, lose everyone in Madam Koo's and head to Circus for 45 mins, maybe an hour, win a proper internet hand with AKdd all in on a 8d 3x 4d Jd board for over £200 against 88 and 44. lol. Brick the river one time please sir, thanks, ship it! First time I've ever put the straddle on and woken up with a hand!! That was nice, ldo. I then go find the rest of the lads and get more drunk, before heading to get food and home. As we're in the take away, some dude (asian rudeboy wannabe gangster) tries to pay for a bottle of water with a £50 note, so he's immediately labelled 'cock' obv and then tries to talk to me. I tell him to fuck off, he pulls a knuckleduster out, I laugh in his face, as do all the lads I'm with. He offers me out, I step outside, he doesn't follow, I laugh more. Police arrive, he's knicked for possession of a little baggy of pills and for being a ladytard with a weapon. I laugh more.

Weds I head to Aspers for cash, lose a little with AK < QQ aipf (other guy was shortstacking, I 3bet from button over CO raise, he shoves, I call getting 90million to one, he wins). Then the game is going to break up, because there's a £11 sng announced as a satellite for the Nifty Fifty which started the Aspers game.

I absolutely crush this, I slow roll Barry because I've misread my hand, he was furious and I was super apologetic, but what can I say? I was hungover to fuck and spades and clubs look similar. I thought I was tank calling with a bare 8 on the end of a 4 spade board, rechecked my hand, I have As8c. Sorry Barry, I have the nuts, I call. He shows Ks2s. That's what happens when you call my raises with tripe. I slowroll you with the nuts. lol.

I then win a huge flip on the bubble when I hit one of my 2389028392839 outs on the river to make broadway after I shove button with AJs and BB tank calls 77. He had slightly less than me, and the chip leader (Benoit, not Bruno as I've been calling him!) had 2x me, so it's a pretty spewy call imo, but there we go, I was happy to go to the river needing any pair, any heart and any 9/K for my double gutter. K ball one time.

So to the Nifty. I have a pint with Ian 'Nemesis' Bertram pre game, and then catch up briefly with the Tretts. Unfortunately, they don't buy my claims that the game is cancelled and Dan goes on to take the lions share of the chop. I should've tried harder, obviously. Well done Dan!

For my part, I never get going, totally card dead and only win one pot of note pre break when I turn a flush and win a medium size pot from two tards. I lead the turn for 1500 into 3500 when one tard has 2200 total. I should have checked as he tank folds. Sigh. I'm up to about 9000 from 6000 at the break but still totally card dead.

After the break, I know that 100/200, 200/400 and 300/600 are really the levels where it's make or break for me. At 100/200 I manage to lose the minimum with 44 on a 467T hhh board when I check fold the turn to be shown 77.  Kinda butchered it, caus I check-called the flop planning to check-raise most turn cards. Worst card ever comes off, I don't have enough chips to bet fold though, so check-fold it is as there is literally nothing I'm beating.

I then get super card dead some more, all the way to 300/600 when I have about 6500. I've had difficulty finding spots because all the shorties on the table are too my right, so they often get in the pot before me. In the BB, I pick up 45o when my BB is raised from MP again! Brennan flats behind and I immediately peg him for a hand like AJ/AQ/55 etc. When he flats, I note that the raiser looks nervous, and annoyed that he's gonna be outta position. With a flat caller behind him, he has to be huge to call my shove (because he has only 9000 total) so I just shove because there's like 2800 in the middle and my tight image should make brennan fold out lots of hands in his range. Obviously I get tank called in one spot with an announcement of 'ok, I'll gamble' and then Brennan tank folds AQ. I read him so good. lol. Obviously I'm up against KQo and the first two cards give me the world with 23, then the board pairs and runs a K on the turn and I miss my up and down for the win. Sigh. I don't think I played too badly, but I just didn't know what to do with no hands at all and no spots. Meh.

So there we are. A weekly round-up. Thanks for reading!

In which I smash all boards ever in the face, and somehow conspire to lose.

First of all, before I get ranty, let me just say wpwpwpwpwpwpwp and shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip it to Rosco for winning the Coral British Masters Leeds game this weekend. I'm sure he'll be reporting more on this over at his blog. Well played sir, and super well deserved.

Ok then, on to the rant. So I'm off work, fancy playing some cards so head over to Aspers for a little cashytao action. The game is just getting underway as I rock up, so sit for £50 with Stephen Craik (terribad), a French lad called Bruno(?) (nice guy, good player, v capable and thinks I'm a total shark thanks to some brilliant speech play by James BOTR Howard...lol) and the usual collection of Chinese/Asian donks. I get building a nice stack early when I make a good call with TT on a K9xxx 2 heart board against Bruno. I also turn the nuts against a shortstacking Stephen and get paid off when I donkbet shove the river. I nitroll some other dude when after I lot of limps I pop it with AQo in the cut off. Get a couple of callers, and flop is Q8x 2heart board and my c-bet is check called in one spot. Now the pot is like £15 and the check caller in the hijack leads for like £3.50 on a K turn. It looks so milky I start wondering if he has a set, and he only has £20 back. I flat call because he always calls with sets, and always passes everything in his range that I beat, I think. On the river, a really bad J (because now all the queens he can conceivably have check/called and fired with now all have 2 pair. *sigh*. Any way, he bets £5.50 on the end, so I kinda nitroll call and he had A8. Ok, I can't raise for value I suppose, but just, wow.

So anyway, I'm crushing and playing pretty super when some tard raises early to £3, and I repop to £14 with AdKd in the hijack. Bruno, on the button, tells me this is a great spot for him to 4bet me, but passes (I'd have snapped, ldo) and the tard calls.

I turbo smash the K96dd board in the face, and the tard checks, having thought about betting, and I insta think 'draw' so I just shove. He calls and I'm shown the might QJo. Ten on the turn ldo and I obv miss the river diamond. Sigh. Wp sir, you play so ossm. I'm then told by two other players that they passed a ten. No diamonds. Mbn to be one outed.

So anyway, next hand I find AKo so I raise to £3.25 with the straddle and get called in 5 spots. I bet £10 on the K93r flop and some tard shoves for £16 total. I call and he shows KJo. Jack on the river, ldo. 3 outed. Back to back. Yip, nice hand, you played it awful ('i thought you were steaming', 'so shove pre, you have no fold equity and never have the best hand otf', 'what's fold equity', 'sigh')

So, there we are, gg profit, and I take a small £4 profit from playing like a hero.

I refuse to be tilted by this though, I played completely awesome, I think, and right now I feel I'm playing better than I ever have before. Within the next couple of months I'm going to be really working on my live tournament and cash game and by the end of the summer I hope to have played in (and scooped) a major live tournament like the DTD deepstack. I didn't think I was ever good enough in this kind of game, but recently a couple of people I really respect have said nice things about my game (you know who you are) and convinced me that I might well just be good enough value to take some shots. When I do, I'll probably sell some action, so I'll keep you all updated.

Thanks for reading, comments appreciated.

GL at the tables,

--mulhuzz

Circus Friday Game 5th June 2010

So I didn't blog in a while, I'll keep this as short as I can. Honest.

I get persuaded to play the Circus £15+£15 game on Friday and get further persuaded by BO$$HOG and Pads that having beers before would be fun. They were absolutely right, it was fun. Couple of beers in the telegraph (which is rammed) and then off to reg at Circus. Before we reg, I play my first ever game of AZBOKING with Sensh, BO$$HOG, Pads and Andy Blair. Obviously I bink it. Beginner's luck and such.

I get drawn a reasonably tough table, with Andy 'KQ4EVA' Blair (who I love listening to talk about poker whilst he's playing, it's like free coaching!), Lewis Clemment and Chris Day all here, plus some unknowns. Chris is tough to play against as he's just so aggro with a wide range, and I think it's pretty safe to say that Lewis is a top player who will be more than happy to have the button when I'm in the BB. Andy is directly to my left too, which should be fun. Chris is directly to my right and dealing, and he's always good crack. You know he's gonna be here for ages with loads of chips, or out early with his style.

A little into it, Chris coolers Andy for his first buyin with A7 > TT all in on a 7 high flop. Ace on the turn. Andy rebuys, and Chris coolers some other dude and very quickly has north of 20k, I guess, from the 6k start. He's being aggro and running good. Hitting every draw and such. Then Chris raises the button to 425 and I repop to about 1250 with AKs from the SB. Andy moves in from the BB and Chris passes. I don't like folding with 1/3 of the effective stack already in there when I'm flipping a lot. I make the call and AK > TT. Ul Andy, wp. Always a pleasure.

I like to threebet a little lighter against Chris than I normally would, and I make up for this by flatting less. The reason is that Chris can have a tendency to overplay hands a little, especially if he thinks 'he'd never reraise with X preflop' so you can get him to commit his chips with all sorts of draws and mid pairs. The flip side is that I'll rarely bluff him, particularly if I think he has a draw and the pot is about to bloat.

Later a couple of crucial hands come up. I threebet Chris' open with TT and he calls (that's not lighter than usual, I'll 3bet TT for value against most people..) and he calls OOP. He leads pot size on a 689 board and I just shove for 10k effective. He snaps with K7, I fade the world and double up to 20k-ish. My shove looks so weird here I think that Chris might think he has Ks, 7s, Ts and 5s for the best hand. He'll prolly also call with just like any pair. With hands that beat me, he probably bets smaller or even 'checks to the raiser' I think. Meh, maybe I got lucky that I wasn't behind but that he still called. I had a live AZBOdraw if I was behind, anyway.

A few orbits later, with the beers flowing, there are a couple of limpers (Chris included) into Rob Flett (new to table) in the BB. He promises to raise, so I overcall with 99. Not ideal, but meh. Flop is a dreamy 345. Rob checks, Chris bets, I raise for value from hands like A5, etc, and Rob flats. Chris then shoves for 6k more (with about the same in the middle) and I just flat. Rob then moves in for 1000 more than that. Sigh. Not beating anything now, I guess, but I call. Actually, I'm beating the world. Rob has 52 (he gave the 'I guess I'm going to work speech) and Chris has 65. I scream for a running King Queen ball, and that's exactly what I get, and all of a sudden I have 38k or so. We're not even at the break yet!!!

At the break, I tell pads how I'm crushing and he tells me how he's catching up. Some good banter there, of course. I decide to add on, just for the crack, and eat at the break, catching up with Dan and Mark Trett too.

After the break, some other stuff happens. Fast forward to Dan and Mark Trett getting moved to the table. I'm dealing now, and having banter, and watching the Tretts hoover up chips. Apparently when Mark writes his first book, the first chapter will be 'how to get there on the river' and Dan will guest author a section on 'how to flop trips and get paid everytime'. Dan and Mark both came to the table with less than me, and all of a sudden Dan has like 50k, Mark getting to about 35k -- by getting there on the river, obv ;) -- and I can't relax anymore. Now there's poker to be played, so I mix up a few pots, but I'm playing a little tight against them both as they both have position on me and I don't want to get into a spot where I could go broke if I play it wrong.

I haven't really moved chipwise for a while, small variations, going through blinds, taking blinds and limps and such. I'm delighted to continue the banter when the table splits and I get moved. I *really* want Pads' table, but it's not to be, although Dan joins me on a table with philn, KENLOCK and some kid called Phil, as well as another lad called Shaun that I know from around. At this point, let me say that it's the first time I'd met KENLOCK and we spoke for ages about a lot of stuff. He's a top top bloke, if you don't know him, introduce yourself. Needless to say, he knows his way around the felt too.

I start opening all buttons and also threebetting Dan Trett's early and mid position ranges in position for value. The lads in the blinds are starting to get sick of me, I think, and it's no surprise when Shaun shoves. I ask him how much more and he instantly draws in breath quickly, telling me he doesn't have a monster. I know I'm unlikely to be dominated with QTs and make the call for 12k or so. I bink against A3 and start to chip up again.  I then lose lots of it back when I flop two pair from the SB against and all in pre (for 2BBs) and KENLOCK who flatted the button. Ken has a straight and a flush draw, so when I shove he snaps and I can't fade the world this time ldo. I'm back to around 40k again when I open AQo early. Dan calls in the SB which is perfect for me, because it sets up a squeeze from philn in the BB. He duly obliges and I hold vs 78s by flopping an Ace in a 50k pot. Up towards 65k now. (I think that was the order of those hands, I may be wrong, but the net result is that when we move to the FT bubble I had 65k).

I raise from LP again (this time with KQs, a value hand!) and I get shoved on by the mighty Q7s. I make what I think is the most standard call in the world, and he flops a 7. That was the other kid called Phil. I guess he was just sick of me stealing his blinds, maybe. More like a frustrated shove than a value shove, esp when he had 25k or so. GG 50k pot.

I think I play another couple of pots, but get to the FT as a decent stack. Basically, this goes on for ages. Jean Barr limp folds AK to a Dan Trett all in (he lost a reasonable amount at the other table, but I don't remember how) because there was a limper behind. I was furious with that tbh. Anyway, I play like a bit of a hero, I think, but all of a sudden it becomes a little too tight so I start opening everypot that's folded to me, as does Dan. With less than 15BB in some spots, I just shove shove shove and pick up blinds all the time. Dan takes a stand with the 'miles ahead of my range' (my words, not his) KhJh. Unluckily for him (this is the 5th hand in a row I've shoved) I have Ah6h and hold to win a huge pot.

I can't be arsed to keep typing, but some dude gets KK a million times (and I fold JJ and AK to him pre) and later I'm offered a 5 way deal as chip leader. Lewis really has my back here and I turn it down because, frankly, 80% of the time I'm giving like £85 away. I offer a 5% discount on an ICM chop, but nobody other than Lewis knows what that means, so we play on. I start nibbling and nobbling and applying pressure, but then lose a rather large pot to TJ when he outflops me when I'm dominating. *sigh* -- back to average, TJ, furious that I didn't deal, starts giving it a bit of talk, so I stick the earphones in and decide to crush again. I do. 3 way chop at like 6:30 in the morning caus I had shit to do that morning and couldn't be wrecked. That was annoying. Good cash though, felt I played well.

In other news, that put me top of the new world cup league. weeeee..

In other other news, I did like £100 in a cash game at the G on Saturday after coming in pissed and having Scotty outflop my AA then play me like a fiddle for me to get it in drawing dead almost. That sucked. Still, when I made my first post at the NPF, I said I wanted to make £2500 this year from livepoker. It's June. Almost midyear review time, and I think I'm well on target for that, so that's something. Even if I do play like a fucking buffoon whilst pissed.

Thanks for reading. Sorry about the curtness at the end.

GL at the tables,


--mulhuzz

G League Final Report

So I turn up at the G well before play is due to begin, and I pretty much love my table draw. It looks pretty soft. There's a lad called Jamie, who definitely has some chops, but I have position on him. There are 2 super tight players and Christine, who I hate, so I'm looking forward to knocking her out (more on that, later).

Also at my table, directly to my left, is Glen the Geek. He has about 21k, so could put some real damage to my 31k stack. Before the game, I catch up with a few of the lads and have a pint with Nemesis and chat to Spoona, Sensh and CGK for a bit.  By 3pm, the cards are in the air. Unbelievably, only 36 of 50 players have turned up, and with £4100 in the prizepool with £2000 up top, I'm feeling confident I can do well.

It would be impossible for me to report all the banter, action and good times from this tournament, so I'm just going to select a couple of things. First of the bat, thanks to the G for a slick and well run tournament and especially to Candice and the Big Cheese for just having a good time and running things so smoothly.

Early doors my plan is to be tight. Blinds start at 50/100 with a 25 minute clock throughout, so I don't need to get funky at any point with over 300 BBs. I know that a lot of people would limp lots of small pairs and suited connectors with my stack, but obviously it's effective stacks that we're concerned about, and more than one person at my table had between 40-60BBs. I don't need to get involved and I'm hoping when the blinds go up I can play a few pots profitably.

Not how it turns out, though. Within the first level, there's a little less action from the short stacks than I expected, so I start playing a normal game, loosening up a little. I raise AQo in late position in the second or first level and someone ships the whole farm from the BB. It's about 3k more to me, and frankly, I don't need the flip so I sigh and pass. Later still, the Geek limps UTG and I check my option with K4ss in the BB. I lose a small pot when I brick a flush draw. Good thing I do, Glenn has trips and the NFD by the turn on an AA36ss board with A8ss. I lose a couple of small pots when I brick the world twice with OESFDs, when I've over limped or overcalled with suited connectors in late position. This is pretty standard I think, I've only lost a tenth of my stack and I'm not worried at all.

An interesting hand happens the next orbit when I'm in the BB. With the blinds at 100/200 (first hand at this level), Glen makes it 700 UTG and I elect just to flat in the BB with AhKh. I'm out of position, and I think Glen will overshove most pairs 88+ here when I raise and I don't need a decision for 20k chips, thanks. I'd rather control the pot size, out of position as I am, and I check fold a 9JQ one heart flop. This flop smashes Glen's range in the face, and I'm drawing to a ten ball at best. Turns out if I'd lead the flop, I would have picked it up as Glen shows TT. Unless he liked his OESD on the flop. Ha. Still, I don't mind check-folding here. I'm looking to control the potsize anyway. Against a smaller stack I'd have probably raised pre and called a shove, but it's suicide against the only stack on the table that can significantly dent me.

 I'm down to about 24k at one stage, and I'm not happy. I can't hit the board for toffee and I'm bricking draws. When a new player raises early and everyone else folds I shove AKo in the BB for about 5k effective. He calls with KK. Flop brings 3 diamonds, turn is an Ace and he's dead because the case King is diamonds and would make me a flush. I run pretty good.  From then on, I tear it up, I start checking to induce bluffs, floating and barrelling and generally playing my A game. I lose a pot to Christine when she tank calls QJo in the BB to my EP raise with AQs and we check it down (she always check calls every street, I hadn't hit the board, so I'm not betting really as it doesn't seem like a value bet with A high. She calls the entire range she's beating me with and the board is J high).

I then take a couple of hits with standard cut off raises running into '3BB more' shoves from the BB. I'm never flipping with him, sigh, he always has a value hand and it's pretty frustrating. He then spews these chips away by bluffing B v B and limp folding 7BBs, but then I go double him again with A9s running into AA for about 30p more. *sigh* I don't give up though, and flop trips to get three streets of value from one idiot, and then raise with 78s in late position again. The BB (him again!) shoves on me and I snap. He has AQo. Finally a hand where I'm not dominated. Persistence is virtue and I flop 2pair. One hand later I raise in the hijack with QJhh and get shoved on for not much more by a different big blind. I'm priced into call and hope I'm not dominated. He has 99. Nice. I flop two pair and turn a house. Nice. That's the 2 table bubble and we're joined now by Nemesis with mirrrrions of chips and Glen the Geek rejoins, having been moved just after he took my 700 in level 3. Other players I don't know.

Nemesis has position on me, so I tighten up a bit because he's capable of three betting light. Jamie, a teacher, who I have a lot of time for and was excellent banter all day (including agreeing to put a £5 bounty on Christine's head) gets coolered when he shoves the short stack from the button and before I can even finish saying 'I'm calling you light' I snap him off with JJ. He has TT and my stack is north of 45k for the first time. Ul Jamie, good playing with you.

I win a pot against Nemesis when I limp the button with JTs (horrid, I know, but I've been stealing his blinds a little and I want to play a pot with him for a change!). He raises as expected and I flat. I call his bet on the flop QJx board, call again on the turn which puts a third spade up there, and tell him that I'm going to call a third barrel on the river, so he checks and I check behind. He never calls Ace high here, but he might raise and I don't want that. My stack is north of 65k now with only those couple of showdowns. We're short handed and near the final table bubble

A few hands later, Ian gets me back. I raise in MP with JJ and Iain shoves. I was really close to calling, but I passed. Truth is, I didn't want to lose a flip when I think I can outplay everyone else at the table. I was closer than Nemesis thinks I was to calling, he told me he thinks I need KK+ to call here. I'm calling with 99+ and AQ+ normally, but the table dynamics dictated a fold. He shows me K8s. Nice hand, you fish! :D Ian was continuing to apply pressure to people and wanted to be the table captain. I was fine to let him and pick off the weaklings. Heh.

Eventually, I don't know how, we make the final. I have 63k from 490k total. First hand the geek moves all in for 20k. I tank fold AJs and Nemesis wakes up with QQ. Obviously I'd have rivered an Ace. Sigh. Right fold though.

Some sick hands later I take out christine who's been bitching about ten not being paid because she had about 5BBs. This woman is so standard. I fucking hate her. When it's her BB at 1/2k, I make it 7k UTG with ATdd. This is totally below my usual UTG range, but I want that fiver, considering she only has 4.8k or so. She calls with K5o. Board runs TT33X and she complains about badly done by she is. I really want to tell her to fuck off, but I don't. Play better. Or talk less. I don't care which.

Rob Taylor is our bubble boy when he shoves something and Nemesis snaps. Ian is playing well, but the deck is smashing him in the face! I've never seen anyone run that good.

Anyway, this is long now, so we'll avoid the drama of making the deal and Stephen Craik not wanting it, then wanting it after Nemesis punished him with a shove every single time he raised. Basically, I have £500 locked up and can win a further £500 by winning it. I decide not to ladder and try to rechop later, I'm playing for the win so when I raise the button with 44 and Iain ships the SB, I auto call. He has AK. River is the cruelest Ace ever for a third of the chips in play. *sigh*. I mean, it's standard, but meh.

Ian then smashes the deck some more, cracking KK with QTs by flopping a house when Spoona already passed QT. Wow. He then got Dave in some other ridic spot and finally Spoona, who rocked the short stack admirably, and played super all day long, when Ian turned a 6 ftw in A6 v AT aipref.

I had such fun. £500 is my holiday spending sorted. Great game and wpwpwpwpwpwp Ian. You might run like God, but you played great, too. Well done to everyone that final tabled, of course too.

Ok, enough now. Comments appreciated.

Gl at the tables,

--mulhuzz